untilgradschool

Loyalty, in the formal sense, is an evasive topic, in my mind. Holding strong through tough times to a bad idea, or bad person doesn’t equate with other good ideas that I have on a day to day basis. Opportunity to fix something that needs and more importantly wants fixing, if it can be fixed at all, is a different story. Going down with the ship, if you’re not the captain makes no sense at all.

Would you consider me loyal? Probably not. When the going is easy and problems don’t persist, I am likely to be distant and focused on my own life. Would you consider me caring and responsive under situations of duress? Absolutely. Random acts of kindness and thoughtfulness as well as being someone to lean on during hard times are my best qualities rather than just sticking around for the sake of having someone around.

I’ve still got friendships with people from grammar school, high school, college and from a few jobs. Every part of my life featured a very different person (myself) at different stages of growing up. Whenever I meet up with friends from past eras of my life, I feel a sort of melancholy. No matter how pumped I am about progress made in my life or surrounding decisions I’ve made, there’s always a sobering realization associated with hearing your friends remind you that nothing’s really changed and that much won’t change dramatically in the course of a lifetime.

I don’t let this feeling wash over me too much, and it doesn’t stick, but it is profound. I’m definitely looking forward to this week and so forth… I’ve got a lot to prove.

A couple friends showed up at my apartment last night to shoot the breeze, have some food and hang out. It came to my attention that they were heading up to New Hampshire today to visit a mutual friend at his late-father’s house. Obviously I didn’t invite myself, because I never like to play the part of “3rd Wheel.” But, our mutual friend called and invited me.

Although I was hesitant to agree, I’ve decided that taking a 3 hour trip up north might be good for my psyche and thought process. I’m hoping to stop at a book store on the way up to get a good biz book that I’ve been recommended by several friends.

I must say, random events and invitations like this truly make life special. I haven’t been up there since the 4th of July. I am really excited.

Have a good rest of your weekend!

This post goes to Gen X’ers. Does my generation’s flighty tendencies give you the creeps, or does it encourage you to try to learn how to manage us and work with us?

There are so many posts on how to manage generation Y workers. It seems like we’re a bunch of kids who need constant stimulation and gratification in order to perform at our peak. Obviously I’m over-exaggerating a bit, but how is the generational gap going to be addressed when people my age start flooding workplaces, wanting very different things than Gen X or the Baby Boomers?

Does Gen Y annoy you or motivate you?

It’s funny how six months ago I was dead set on getting into grad school. Now I’m dead set on starting my own business. I’ve wanted to go to grad school before, but I’ve never gone this hard at starting my own business and making the shift to full-time freelance work.

I am very curious to what real circumstanced I would be able to go back to school. The economy is so bad and I’ve got no money for school. How could I ever think of paying for it? Should I simply focus my thoughts and energy into something that I have control over and something tangible than I can do now?

I think so.

New Years Eve falls on the same night as yet another snow storm this winter. I’m not sure what’s happening with it yet, but I’ll say this; I woke up feeling damned good. Not only was I well rested, but time seemed to slow down. Breakfast and coffee tasted better, I wasn’t running late and I just felt a general peace come over me. I let go of a lot of anger and anxiety I had been holding on to and decided to just go with the day and take whatever it deals me.

Tonight, 2008 ends. It’s been good and weird. I’ll be eager to see how my ideas and aspirations evolve in 2009. Grad school probably won’t happen this coming year, but I’ll be getting closer to my ultimate goal of being independent, intelligent and dynamic.

This holiday season started off pretty well but ended on a very sour, recurring note.

Christmas Eve was spent with my mother’s side of the family, per usual and my sister and I spent Christmas Day volunteering at a dinner for Worcester’s homeless while our mother worked. Due to the snow the week before, my father’s side of the family canceled two parties that were scheduled.

This past Saturday, I spent the day at my girlfriend’s house with her family. Sunday was going to be a busy day by most standards. My mother’s side of the family was having another party and my father’s side had rescheduled to that day as well. To top it off I wanted to go to a farewell brunch for my friend and his new fiance before they left for Canada.

For weeks I had asked what time my mom’s side of the family was having their party. Last year it was a Yankee Swap and it was at night. My father’s side started at 3, but I knew I could make all three gatherings without trouble.

But then when I went to leave for brunch, my mother calls and says her party is at 1pm and I better be there. I got mad and asked her why she didn’t tell me that weeks before when I asked her the time. She made no excuses and demanded I come. So I told her I’d come after my father’s party was over.

So, the brunch went well, I got to my father’s party rather early. My younger brother showed up who I haven’t seen for over a year due to very unfortunately circumstances and despite all this, I still managed to get out by 7pm and make it to my mom’s side of the party by 8pm. A lot of people had left, but some were still there, including my mom.

My sis and I tried to say hi, but she wouldn’t talk to us. She still hasn’t talked to us. My cousin told me she was ranting about how we chose my dad’s family over hers. This is ridiculous.

Let it be known, few things infuriate me and make me hate the holidays more than selfish parents who do stuff like this. I’ve said this before; if this behavior continues, I won’t come to family parties anymore. I’m fully capable of detaching myself from bad situations and I won’t be made to feel guilty when I try to please everyone.

I am known to get a little preachy at family gatherings. I don’t start performing exorcisms or talking about Moses splitting the ocean, but usually I get rather emphatic about the year’s happenings that I feel are necessary to explain before I leave the party. If I don’t tell them about it, they’ll leave the party thinking that nothing’s changed. I can’t have that!

Yesterday, I talked a bit about my new business and what I’m trying to accomplish by opening it. People seem a bit more encouraging of this idea than some of the hair brained schemes I’ve come up with in the past. That being said, I think I’ve always had some pretty cool ideas, albeit, short sighted and ill-fated.

I was also quite excited to see certain people and hear other people talk in true honesty. As I’ve said before, 2009 will hold a lot of suffering for people, but some will do well and there will be opportunity. I hope to be among the fortunate, but I’m pulling for some friends and family even more so than myself.

So I managed to shed a few pounds in the Fall. This was due to a combination of more stress at work, better food choices, a semi-regular exercise routine and much less drinking (virtually no drinking at all). In the past week and a half I have eaten so much with my family and friends. No regrets about it, but I definitely need to get back on my track. I don’t feel like I’ve deviated too much, it’s just that I’ve eaten some things that I can only find around the holidays.

With a possible exception for New Year’s Eve, I plan on getting back on my ass kicking streak. Who’s with me?

Another great thing about the holidays is the power they have to bring people from very long distances. My best friend, who just got engaged last night, came down from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Another friend of mine came all the way back from Japan, where she’s been living for over two years now.

Part of me always thought that I would be the globe trotter coming home for the holidays, having an exciting life abroad, but it didn’t turn out that way. I’ve got some interesting business prospects going on right in my home city.

Regardless of my whimsical hopes to live a more international life, I am truly grateful to see my friends come home for the holidays. I hope to be visiting them more in the future. That’s one of the benefits to having friends far off.