untilgradschool

New Years Eve falls on the same night as yet another snow storm this winter. I’m not sure what’s happening with it yet, but I’ll say this; I woke up feeling damned good. Not only was I well rested, but time seemed to slow down. Breakfast and coffee tasted better, I wasn’t running late and I just felt a general peace come over me. I let go of a lot of anger and anxiety I had been holding on to and decided to just go with the day and take whatever it deals me.

Tonight, 2008 ends. It’s been good and weird. I’ll be eager to see how my ideas and aspirations evolve in 2009. Grad school probably won’t happen this coming year, but I’ll be getting closer to my ultimate goal of being independent, intelligent and dynamic.

This holiday season started off pretty well but ended on a very sour, recurring note.

Christmas Eve was spent with my mother’s side of the family, per usual and my sister and I spent Christmas Day volunteering at a dinner for Worcester’s homeless while our mother worked. Due to the snow the week before, my father’s side of the family canceled two parties that were scheduled.

This past Saturday, I spent the day at my girlfriend’s house with her family. Sunday was going to be a busy day by most standards. My mother’s side of the family was having another party and my father’s side had rescheduled to that day as well. To top it off I wanted to go to a farewell brunch for my friend and his new fiance before they left for Canada.

For weeks I had asked what time my mom’s side of the family was having their party. Last year it was a Yankee Swap and it was at night. My father’s side started at 3, but I knew I could make all three gatherings without trouble.

But then when I went to leave for brunch, my mother calls and says her party is at 1pm and I better be there. I got mad and asked her why she didn’t tell me that weeks before when I asked her the time. She made no excuses and demanded I come. So I told her I’d come after my father’s party was over.

So, the brunch went well, I got to my father’s party rather early. My younger brother showed up who I haven’t seen for over a year due to very unfortunately circumstances and despite all this, I still managed to get out by 7pm and make it to my mom’s side of the party by 8pm. A lot of people had left, but some were still there, including my mom.

My sis and I tried to say hi, but she wouldn’t talk to us. She still hasn’t talked to us. My cousin told me she was ranting about how we chose my dad’s family over hers. This is ridiculous.

Let it be known, few things infuriate me and make me hate the holidays more than selfish parents who do stuff like this. I’ve said this before; if this behavior continues, I won’t come to family parties anymore. I’m fully capable of detaching myself from bad situations and I won’t be made to feel guilty when I try to please everyone.

I am known to get a little preachy at family gatherings. I don’t start performing exorcisms or talking about Moses splitting the ocean, but usually I get rather emphatic about the year’s happenings that I feel are necessary to explain before I leave the party. If I don’t tell them about it, they’ll leave the party thinking that nothing’s changed. I can’t have that!

Yesterday, I talked a bit about my new business and what I’m trying to accomplish by opening it. People seem a bit more encouraging of this idea than some of the hair brained schemes I’ve come up with in the past. That being said, I think I’ve always had some pretty cool ideas, albeit, short sighted and ill-fated.

I was also quite excited to see certain people and hear other people talk in true honesty. As I’ve said before, 2009 will hold a lot of suffering for people, but some will do well and there will be opportunity. I hope to be among the fortunate, but I’m pulling for some friends and family even more so than myself.

So I managed to shed a few pounds in the Fall. This was due to a combination of more stress at work, better food choices, a semi-regular exercise routine and much less drinking (virtually no drinking at all). In the past week and a half I have eaten so much with my family and friends. No regrets about it, but I definitely need to get back on my track. I don’t feel like I’ve deviated too much, it’s just that I’ve eaten some things that I can only find around the holidays.

With a possible exception for New Year’s Eve, I plan on getting back on my ass kicking streak. Who’s with me?

Another great thing about the holidays is the power they have to bring people from very long distances. My best friend, who just got engaged last night, came down from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Another friend of mine came all the way back from Japan, where she’s been living for over two years now.

Part of me always thought that I would be the globe trotter coming home for the holidays, having an exciting life abroad, but it didn’t turn out that way. I’ve got some interesting business prospects going on right in my home city.

Regardless of my whimsical hopes to live a more international life, I am truly grateful to see my friends come home for the holidays. I hope to be visiting them more in the future. That’s one of the benefits to having friends far off.

One of the first things I thought of this morning is how Christmas could be called Thanksgiving 2.0 for non-believers. People are truly in the giving spirit all over and I am thankful for my ability to be giving and receiving.

This morning my sister and I went to Saint Paul’s Cathedral in downtown Worcester and served the annual Bishop’s Christmas dinner. We used to do this all the time when we were little and fell off a bit in the past few years. I was able to drag my mom out of bed on Thanksgiving, but my sister didn’t come. So, because my mother got called into work, I figured I’d get my sister to go this time.

So many nice people come and serve and eat. I feel like Worcester can be a cold city at times, but I feel a lot more human when I help out and I think people are more open to connections that they’d otherwise let pass by otherwise. A woman I met when serving Thanksgiving ran up to me and gave me a big hug and asked about my mom. That’s just cool.

Merry Masochists to everyone. Stay thankful and generous!

I finally ordered my free business cards from Vista Print. All I had to pay for was shipping. Although the quality may not be great and the formatting is lacking, I feel like it’s a good way to publicize my interests and potential business ideas if I can hand someone a card after their interest is peaked about what I do. I’ve also set up a blog, very basically, on Wordpress for my business that I’ll be updating and getting as tip top as possible.

Today is Xmas Eve at my family, which means huge amounts of food are being cooked. I’m glad I’ve been staying on top of my fitness because I swear I will not be in debt this coming year and I will not be over weight either.

I hope everyone is doing well. This is the last of my business work that I hope to do tonight. From here on it, it’s rest and relaxation.

I finagled! Tomorrow has been deemed a “half-day” and I had planned on applying my one use-or-loose vacation day to the entire day, so I felt slighted that I was wasting half a day. You may think, “damn, counting down minutes much?” Yes, I am! I haven’t taken a vacation in 3 years! This won’t really be a vacation though. I’ll be driving like Mario Andriette all over the state, but at least i won’t be doing this damn commute for 5 days straight. Very nice!

So, I’ll be leaving for work in a few minutes and then I’ll tie up loose ends before noon, exchange secret santa gifts and bid my co-workers adieu. I hope everyone is planning on relaxing with their loved ones a little this week. Be safe too!

Another round of self evaluation has brought me to another question mark in my quest to Grad School. I got accepted to a prestigious graduate program recently but didn’t go because of financial aide. Upon reviewing most admission deadlines right now, I’m realize that my time line to get everything done is tighter than I’d like it to be.

I feel less disparaged about this than I did around this time last year. What has turned into perpetual procrastination on getting the GRE’s done has lead me to some more fruitful endeavors such as starting a business and networking with some truly interesting people who do what I would like to do someday (mostly self-employed).

Maybe grad school will be a 2010 or beyond thing? I’m actually okay with that. I want my business to start earning revenue more than I want another degree. That’s for certain. Is a degree a means to that end? I’m not so sure.

What are your means and ends for 2009?

So, I opted to stay in tonight and give my laundry a go. The snow just got progressively worse as the night went on and I had some serious laundry that needed washing. I called my fried and talked to him for a while anyways. He was cool that I opted to play it safe. I’ll probably try to make it out west in the next month or so anyways. I really like it out there.

Once I decided I wasn’t going, I talked to a friend and thought about getting out of the house at least for a little while. Then I started work on something I was supposed to have complete by this coming Monday at my day job. What a dumb idea! I just got consumed and had to finish it because I definitely didn’t want to work on it tomorrow.

I also pulled an invitation from my great grandmother that I conveniently forgot about reminding me that I have her xmas party tomorrow. Not so thrilled to be going, but I don’t want to piss everyone off by seeming anti-social. My sister is going to probably bail, so I should probably make an effort to make my side of the family look decent.

Hope everyone’s have a good and safe weekend!