Aug 20 2008
Maybe a momentous occasion awaits?
I feel as if I saw a lot in Chicago that I don’t see much at home. The city is just expansive and goes on for what seems forever. Lots and lots of diversity pulses throughout the streets and it is exciting and encouraging to know that opportunity has found its way into so many people’s lives. Not to say that poverty isn’t an issue, as there are a good amount of homeless people living on the streets of Chicago. This is a sad fact of big city life which is something that everyone no matter where they are needs to combat. Max even showed me some of the local street people whom he had developed a rapport with and helped them out when he could. Max felt at home away from home. I want that new excitement in my life again.
In my last hours in Prague I found myself continually joking around with Max about how I was just going to “work from home” in Chicago until my company fired me and ordered me to send my laptop back, in which time I would be able to find my own place to live and a job to sustain myself. Obviously not a well thought out or realistic plan, but the more I said it aloud the more melancholy yet determined I got. I thought, “could I do it?” So many voices have told me that there isn’t anything “out there” that isn’t right here at home. If I can’t make it here than how can I really make it anywhere else?
When I got home my mother text messaged me and told me I should move there. She said it would be nice to have someone to go visit out there. Then after a little while on the phone with my girlfriend she told me, in a truly touching way that she thought I should give Chicago a shot too. I didn’t even bring the idea up to her. She said she could hear it in my voice how excited I got just talking about the place and the feeling I got when I was there. She said she really thought I needed to start actively looking for jobs out there any applying.
I figure that I would need some time indeed to get my money situation in order enough to make a major move half way across the country. If I had a job waiting for me, that would make things significantly easier on me. But nothing is guaranteed. Caitlin thinks that in the time it would take me to apply and really sort out jobs I want and hear back from them I could save up some money and possibly even get an offer to be flown out for an interview. Who knows? Maybe I could even get a relocation allowance. Caitlin told me that a test like true distance and pursing our dreams could help us find out if “out there” is really what we want or if it is each other we want. We could even have both someday if we’re lucky.
I am fairly certain that after some time spent at my current job getting experience and possibly being promoted or learning a acquiring a lot more skills, I will feel truly compelled to make my move. A co-worker is leaving for Colorado at the end of the month on a whim to become excellent at snowboarding and just live the life of a young person for a little while. She really got me thinking when I found out she was doing that.
Grad school there? Grad School here? Grad School then? Grad School when? I’ve got to figure out something to do until Grad School!
